My Dark Passenger

As part of my Reader's Advisory for Children class we have a journal portion.  Though journals are generally a private affairs, those who know me know that the line between private and public is pushed slightly farther back then perhaps some others'.  So I decided to use this assignment to continue on with my blog.  It really won't include anything more private then what I'd share with a chatty stranger on a bus...  But then again, my 'private line' may be in a slightly different position than yours.

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This journal entry is discussing my childhood reading life.  In the assignment the examples given are "avid reader, occasional reader or reluctant reader".  I'd like to rank those on a scale.  If Avid = 10, Occasional = 5, Reluctant = 1, then I'd say I was a 15.  Or maybe a 20.  I was more like Addictive Obsessive Compulsive.  I have coined a new term which I now dub AOC.  But why refer to my reading habits as my "Dark Passenger"? 

When I was engrossed in a book (which didn't take long) I no longer existed in real life.  It was nearly impossible to get my attention.  Standing and yelling my name in my face worked no better than calling me from down the street.  The only way to snap me out of it was by wrenching the book from my fingers.  I knew this and so did everyone else, so when I wanted to disappear into a story I would hide.  After all, you can't grab my book if you can't find me.  :)  Up in a tree, on top of the garage, in the playhouse, in my parent's room, in a corner of the basement, in the bathroom.  It became a problem.  I think that most everyone goes through a selfish stage at some point in their childhood or adolescence, and I really don't remember how old I was when I realised that my Dark Passenger sat too heavily on my shoulder, but I knew changes must be made.  So my addiction morphed. 

Instead of replacing things I should be doing, I decided that multi-tasking was the way to go.  I got very good at walking while reading.  After all, you only really need your peripheral vision to stay on a sidewalk, right?  Making gravy while reading, practising piano scales while reading, setting the table while reading.  It's amazing what you can manage when you really, truly love that Dark Passenger. 

But life, priorities and maturity changes and I can now say that my Dark Passenger has become more of a Happy, Light & Fun Passenger.  It no longer runs my life and only once in a blue moon does it darken a bit.  The arrival of a particularly good and particularly fat new book usually causes a bit of a relapse that often results in burnt supper and a 4am bedtime.

But now the question is why?  Why did that Dark Passenger grow so large in your life?  At the age of 5 I was diagnosed with asthma.  Not the "hey I just played soccer for an hour so maybe I'll use my puffer later" or the "I got bronchitis once so they gave me a puffer prescription" kind of asthma.  More like the "1600m run takes 45 minutes and puts me in the hospital", or the "hint of wild sage has me dreading grandma's house", or the "running half a block makes me feel like a fat man is sitting on my chest".  I lied to my doctor and told him I lost many inhalers.  He must have thought I was terribly irresponsible.  But he always told me that if it got any worse he would have to put me on a ventilator at night and above all I DIDN'T WANT THAT! 

So my life revolved around things I could do.  Baseball, because it involved very little running, piano, and reading.  Reading, reading, reading.  I'm sure I would have still loved reading, asthma or no asthma, but would probably have been a little bit less AOC and my Dark Passenger may have never developed.


I know that the reading proficiency gained through countless hours stuck in a book has helped me over the years more than it may have hindered me.  It distresses me when I see someone who's held back because of poor reading skills.  So my question is this; What reading programs are there to help older kids, youth and adults who missed the "window of opportunity" when it comes to reading?  You know, that window where everyone is learning and no one is particularly proficeint.  The window that eventually closes and kids are separated in groups and labelled with a title that tells future teachers how much they can expect out of them, academically.  What kind of programs are there that help to open that window a crack?  Where would a library direct that kind of reader?  And what kind of reader are you?